Life is never constant and it changes anonymously after delivering a new life. Being a parent owes lot of responsibility and in the mean time you get to know about several do’s and don’ts by every next person you meet. Every now and then you get suggestions like you shouldn’t go to public places, you should cut off your outings, don’t wear heels, feed like this and don’t sleep like that, wear those pads and don’t wear those underwires blah blah blah blah….
So, Is it like that? Do we need to cut off our needs and disconnect ourselves from our outer world that used to soothe us? Not really!! all you get to know are perceptions and experiences. Like I always say that every child and every parent is unique. There is nothing in this world which can define perfect parenting. So, what are the real things we must not wear after becoming parents? Here is the list to follow,
- Judgement. This world is full of judgemental thoughts and at each step of life you will find people who are going to judge. Even if you used to think about such judgements earlier, now you must stop thinking about them. Let others feel whatever they want to feel about you. You already have much work to tackle now, why to complicate your life more by wearing others judgements and feeling low? You and your partner are the one who know the actual situation of your life. It hardly matters if someone else think that you are not a good parent. You know what you are and that’s it!!
- Expectations. Expectations have no limits and you cannot satisfy every person in your life. If your aunt thinks that you should stay back at your home until your kid grow up or your niece thinks that you must not compromise with your career for your baby, it’s there point of view and it is no way more important than your own willpower. If you want to do something, you will always find a way. so, stop wearing those expectations and keeping your own expectations aside. It’s you who know better about your little one than anyone else.[How to make your kid drink adequate water?]
- Victim Tag. “Oh I am a Mom Now”. Please don’t ever wear such victim tags. So, what if you are a Mom. There are many successful ladies around the world who are moms. If they would have thought the same way, they would never have been so successful. Yes, being a Mom is a great responsibility but that doesn’t mean that you always must hide your failure behind your motherhood. As I said willpower is all that we need to have for doing anything in life. Don’t ever make your little one feel that you sacrificed yourself for growing them up. Remember you are raising a confident person and a responsible citizen. By setting being a victim of motherhood in front of them you are setting an example of degrading your own desire for others. It’s not good anyhow. It can even make them take the parenthood negative.
- Unjustified Pride. Yes, we should be proud of our motherhood but there should be line of control over such emotions. Not everything comes under this pride heading. Proud to feed your little one anywhere and whenever required is good but clicking selfies of everything you do for your kid to show off your love and pride of being a great mother is pointless. Proud of yourself for raising a good person is a good thing but making them choose a career you want rather guiding them while making their own choices in their life and feeling proud for that is something selfish and not parenting. You don’t need to wear such pride because it is more of obsession than a motherhood.
- Exaggerations. Parenting needs effort a lot of effort but parents are not aliens who need to be away from normal world. It is just a part of life. Let you kid not feel that he is living in a sophisticated world which has no hurdles. It is good to feel little pain sometimes. Keep it normal for them and yourself too. Why you always need to exaggerate the things. If a baby is falling while walking around the home, it will not hurt much. Let him explore a little bit. Keep an eye while your kid is playing at home or in the park but you don’t always need to hold them. Catch them if they are about to fall but let them feel that they can manage themselves by their own. Let them feel connected to the outer world after all we must make them independent.
- Guilt. We mother tend to feel guilty for every wrong thing and it includes a long list. If you are not getting adequate breast milk, you feel low. If our baby get hurts while playing, we feel guilty. If she is not eating well, we feel guilty. If our baby speaks up late, we think it’s our fault. Even mothers feel guilty of getting cesarean done. C’mon ladies you are not always full of faults. To err is human and mothers are not exceptions as well. and you know many times you are not even at fault. Every child has its own growing process. If your child is getting his teething late, it’s not your fault dear. Have patience and stop wearing this guilt. It will only be going to demotivate your skills nothing else.
Apart from above things you need not to stop wearing any other thing in your life. Parenthood is your journey with your child. Enjoy parenting without thinking much about other things.