“Respect Me, I am Elder to you ” often heard of these lines, right ?? The elderly persons and family members really get hurt to see that their yougsters are not willing to respect them but lesser they admit the fact that respect is something which is earned, not possessed. In the first place, I strongly disagree the concept of disrespecting the seniors. One should always be polite to elders no matter how rude they are but I feel it’s our duty as elders to make ourselves so modest that our younger generation become affectionate to us and respect us by heart. Mostly it happens that in the run of being elder we forget to care about the way we talk and we treat them. Respect is all about give and take. They behave how you behave to them.
1. Taming treatment.You know the only consistent thing in the world is a Change. Yes, we are older than our little people but that doesn’t mean they are always kids. Sometimes elders keep on treating their younger ones in the same manner like they used to do when they were kids. They are not ready to admit that their little ones are now grown up adults and they expect them to be treated in the same way always. At times when they are little adults in their teenage, they should be treated as friends to make them understand your way instead of being very assertive.
2. Putting them down among others. That old “sharma ji ka beta” milestone where we show them how they are not so good like other boy or girl. Remember how bad we used to feel when some of our aunts and uncles used to appreciate their own kids with an added suggestion to us ” bhaiya se kuch seekho hamesha ghoomte rehte ho”. And that was the point where we started ignoring them instead of respecting. I mean if your kid is doing good and you are willing to boast about it, you can do it without degrading other kid. Isn’t it ?
3. “Don’t do that” Therapy.
Yes, they do a lot of mistakes, yes they need to be guided but understand that its there learning phase. Guiding is absolutely ok but it should be positive. Why we need to obstruct their ways every now and then. So much of do’s and don’ts make “NO” loose it’s value. The rarer you reject their ways, the more they will value you. Instead of rejection, we can suggest them a better way like saying, ” you did it quite well but Don’t you think it could had been better that way?”. Why to restrict them so much and then, you feel bad when they say that they don’t like you.[Read How to cope up with Anger]
4. Being Partial. Partiality is something which no one likes. If there are two kids and you are biased to one of them, it’s obvious they will not like it. My parents used to bring two gifts always and used to scold us equally. This equality treatment is very important to gel the bond with our younger generation. If one of your kid lives far from you and you make his favorite dish, make sure you make it for whole family or else, make sure you make other kid’s favorite dish too at the same time. Just because other kid is living with you that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to be rewarded.[Read Don’t be Biased to your Kid’s toys ]
5. Watch your Words. The wounds of words are deeper than that of swords. You might be saying it right but if your way is not correct, it’s not worth speaking. You better hadn’t speak. There are many ways to tell them about their mistakes and trust me pinching sentence is the worst way. It will not lead to guide them but it will take the scene to other level where that person will start ignoring you or replying you in the way you may not like it then.[Read How funny Parenting Is !!]
So, if you ever found yourself doing any of the above things, it’s high time you need to break the rule and improve it. Rightly said that your reputation is in your hands. Either be a poker and spoil it or be a mentor and earn it.