My loving Maa,
Writing to you is like unifying the tides of thousand emotions. There is so much to express but I am deprived of words. You know how often you are missed? Every single count of time and every single act of my life is full of your memories. I have so many regrets and the biggest one is that I weren’t able to spend much time with you. At many times, I just want to keep everything aside and just rest in your lap. The greatest truth which now I realize is that by each passing day of my life, I find more you in me. My growing relationship with my daughter is making me rethink on whatever you did for me.
Initially when I got married, I also used to think about your patience while making my room in my extended family’s heart. When I was alone in my new home, I missed our endless conversations. I recall those days, when I found you and papa seeking permission from my new family members to take me home, I felt so bad for ourselves. Steadily, I settled down in this new life but there was always a thought somewhere in backend of my mind. Why am I so miserable now? Why I can’t spend my holidays with my parents without any interruption. Why I can’t travel all the way to my home in vacations? It’s not like I don’t have affection for my new family. I love them too and I am happy to care for them but I really miss my that phase of life when there was with you without any dilemma.
Now, when I am a Mom to my little daughter, I have got my answers in some way. You too had your past life with your parents. You must have missed them a lot just like me. You too would have cried in the piece when you found yourself alone among your new family. Surely, you have sacrificed a lot for making our lives keeping your career on stake. Now I can feel you like never before. Though I have always agreed to the fact that you are my first friend but now I have seen the real You in me.
It’s you in me who is always so worried about her child’s health and well-being. It’s you in me who has no regret for missing the favourite movie just for taking care of home. It’s you in me who cries while daughter’s vaccination pain. Yes, it’s you in me who forgets her own pain while spending time with this little princess.
Being a Mom, I have started understanding my mom better and as you say, everything happens for a reason. So, I feel that I got the reason for being apart from my home. Earlier I used to miss my childhood days and now I relive those precious days with my littleone. I have a great disappointment for not being so good at my understanding when I was with you. Then, I wanted to see the world and now I desire to see you. Now I want to give all what life lessons and precious moments to my kids that you gave to me. I will pass on your learnings to next generation because that is the only way to repent what all I missed during my bachelorhood.
Well, one truth which can never be changed is that how far I grow up but I still want to hug you in my bad times. I may have aged a bit now, but I am still your little baby who will keep on making mistakes to get corrected by you. When I was with you, I wanted so many gifts but now meeting you is my greatest gift. Thanks for being my Mom.